Tuesday, December 30, 2008

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DOSMILNUEVE

We
doors runs out this year, good things or bad things of which we have learned are left behind. Leaving everything behind, let live and live, for that matter .

This 2008 has been difficult, the university, my family and Mr. Dancer. Do not write a long post because I have no orders or wishes for 2009.


"ALL ARE EQUAL Dumb and M. FEIGNED STARTING AND ENDING FOR YOU, WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN YOU AND I WENT AND SPINA You got to see that dude FELT TO HOLD ON TO F. AND LE TELL ALL YOUR FRIENDS ARE IN ANY DISCO WHEN AH LOOK TO PICK ME I KNOW HOW THAT dude Chibolo HOW ARE YOU "


Thanks Mr. Dancer (: thanks for letting me realize that it's not worth fighting for someone who has the concept of swearing I'd omitted to have told me that an hour ago, or perhaps would have thought things through before speaking. Thanks for these words was all I needed to close this year and leave everything behind. Thanks for you're right, what happened between you and me, PASSED .


gentee
Well I just hope this new year have fun a lot, leave behind the problems. I can only say that for this new year will not ask to get along better with my old, do not ask me to do well in college, do not forget to ask Mr. Dancer far appears the love of my life, for 2009 only want to be happy .


Happy New Year!

Monday, December 29, 2008

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What happens when you realize that that person apart from being very different from you does not go to the same dream that you're going? What happens when you know that it is impossible that things could work? What happens when you realize that there are other priorities in your life? What happens when the time of forgetting seems to come? A nail out another nail?
When it's time to mature?
Today I had a productive day zero (:, I was in my pajamas all day doing nothing (that is the problem of the holidays). I was watching some college papers and checking the intranet and I realized that I have lowered my average compared the previous cycle and then said 'WHY RAYS LOWER THE AVERAGE? WHERE WAS THE MEDIA SCHOLARSHIP? BY THE HOLY FUCK! ' and there really are things I can not let it affect my studies.
Since I entered I decided to right a lot of things (I think like many cachimbos excited to start 'a new phase' ) And do not want to thwart those dreams for something that really makes no sense.
I'm sure I have to leave behind Mr. Dancer bah! I'd really like to keep it as a good friend and save the good times we once without realizing it.
The scars will stay and I'm sure it will hurt but it's part of life no?
errors always have to learn but if this ERROR there is nothing to learn What's left? Best forgotten.
Forget it, I'll try, with suspicion and fear but I try. If I'm in my room and turns off the light is not just life, I'm not the only one who can pull the switch and if the bulb burned AS PINEAPPLE! Changes of focus, nothing else (:

My mom always told me that happiness was only me, then I can get my focus shine in all its splendor and chunk the rest! Do not mean to sound self but rather so, when I do a show or a musical is the most incredible feeling in the world, standing above the tables and see one shining there for you and your talent. Now I want to shine on my own no matter what You think Mr. Dancer. I want that.
I think the time to say goodbye was coming at some point and the truth I have absolutely nothing to reproach you, I will have no recollection sad that the things we were bacaaanes in some form or another. I can only say have no doubt in me because I never really understood that I wanted, if you enjoyed the little moments and details as I do.

What comes after that is unknown to me, perhaps you derrepente not because I'm not the first person this happened, maybe you already know what to do, how to act and forget which way (if there is anything you want to forget.) You know you will find a friend in my always (: and although it hurts now I have more time to enjoy myself.

PS: The only thing you need to get a nail is time and desire to forget.

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Hoy estuve hablando con uno de mis mejores amigos a las 4 a.m. por msn y le contaba ( como él está acostumbrado ) los conflictos con Mr. Dancer, escribí un montón para que él solo me pusiera ; 'Andreew para ti que es el amor?' .

Sinceramente no supe que responderle en ese momento así que le dije la verdad pues que no sabia que responderle, luego de que termináramos de hablar me heché en mi cama a pensar en qué significaba el amor y creo que es algo que no se puede definir.


Pero si sé que en mi historia el amor es un gran salto a lo desconocido, que siempre de alguna u otra manera nos llena de insecurity and fear, and there is no lametablemente manual entitled "How to Deal without conflict." I also believe that words distort and become lies, that if you lie I do best, no one can really talk about what he feels and has inside, everything turns into confusion and fear ends up murdering the purest feelings.

Love is like a dance of those wearing masks in which all are disguised so that the feelings are not skin-deep and not discover that people can be weak and need that love. And in this dance that I live in the invitation seems to have said that the heart was left in the reception along with bags and coats.


appears that this story no one wants to be happy.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

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I have so much to do & I can not.

I have to understand that things do not last forever
I have to forget the look that said nothing makes me feel special
I have to live my life and let live, leave aside the days full of monotony and put my life in harmony.
I have to stop confusing me, understand that the hugs and kisses do not always mean love.
I have to stop hating the mole on my cheek
you liked so much I have to stop worrying about when the world comes at you and decide that I must be your charm
rush I have to stop your answers and your dreams about me.
I have to forget you're my religion, say 'good luck and goodbye'
I have to remember that the smile is a killer of oblivion
I have to understand that nothing is of us and there are no feelings reciprocated
I have to stop dreaming empty promises that have an introduction, body and soul give
I have to stop being complicit in their lies, their frustrations and miseries
There are so many things to do, but I can not. I admit, I am a coward , I am not able to be happy and my desire to reinvent is beyond my distress.

What
I admit, I am a coward.
And just pretend I'm in charge of happiness.

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Him and my addiction.


I love that often goes hand in hand with dependence. I knew that putting all my affection to Mr. Dancer ran the risk of sinking to lose, but of course never had.

He had, I have and I will.

The point is that I decided to risk, that nothing ventured, nothing gained ... But it is worth risking when there is much to lose?

love I decided to give everything possible regardless of whether he I was going to receive. In this case he received when he wanted, I think it does so without realizing it. Nosé! it is so.

was hard for me be what I am about it now, to be 'that' I can not explain because I think neither he nor I know who we are.


nothing So we know he is there and while he is there I can love you all, can forget everything. But I know if I lose it will be much more difficult without him.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

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Harmful to society.


how I describe sometimes harmful to society. few months ago she went out to face uncomfortable and unfriendly preferred to hide from everything and shut myself in my room to read, write and listen to music long hours, believe me I do not exaggerate when they saw me on the street or going to happen to them ask me face time with walking.


was (and still am I think) of people who often question things, think again and again, I give many turns until I realize that many things are more simple than appear. Could make a universe of each problem and unfortunately ended up wrapped around my surroundings in my universe of problems.

I think people do not change , people born and remains so, but I think people are controlled and when I feel my heart is surprisingly strong (so much that scares me) I can control myself and how I feel now , me feel alive. Nosé, Nose anything ha! I think there are more things that nose to the yes.


And I have to confess that some days I feel I have to forget the bad times and just smile and be happy, change for me, forgive and forgive myself, use 'sunscreen ' and reinvent. I have to confess also that I have no one more disappointment, but still believe in love and all forms of expression , I know I fell in love and was not the right person but I keep hoping that aparesca love, I know maybe come to save me from the dark clutches of loneliness or depression (to which I will not fall again.)

know that while I'm still alive to compete, not with him, not her, not you, to compete with myself and strive to be better.


If I'm alive I laugh, I love slowly and without haste to which I want to love and give them a little bit of happiness to which they give me my. Even if I wanted to have a toolbox to solve my problems and not be so harmful, it is a 'wanted'. Do not I have. But that can make me not feel bad, because I stop being so harmful and if I feel good and I listen to the soul and heart will help greatly.


Today is different as ever.